Black Satin and Plaid Flannel
Pattyanne 's Fic
Kings of Mercia
LoobyLoos' Fic
Jen's Fic

Part one....

Spike rolled over in bed and reached out with one
hand, searching for.....

"Buffy?" He opened his eyes, annoyed at not
finding her beside him. Although it was a poor sub-
stitute, he grabbed the pillow she'd laid her head
on and buried his face in it, inhaling the faint trace
of her scent that clung to the linen.

After trying for half an hour to go back to sleep, he
climbed out of bed and pulled his jeans on, then
padded downstairs barefoot.

There was a note on the kitchen counter, written on
the back of an advertisement for lawn service, in
Buffy's small, neat handwriting.

'I'm revisiting my childhood tonight. Want to come
along? If the answer is yes, then be at my house at
seven o'clock. Love you bunches.'

Below her signature was a postscript.

'The answer had better be yes!'

Spike chuckled softly. "Answer's always yes for you,

He placed the note in a drawer and glanced at the
clock. Seeing it was nearly 5:30, he went back
upstairs to shower.


At five minutes past seven, Spike rapped lightly
on Buffy's front door, then let himself in.

"Thank God!" Xander's voice came from the living
room. "I was beginning to think I was gonna be the
only X and Y chromosome type here tonight."

Spike looked around the room, surprised to see the
slayer's entire posse gathered there. "What's going

Before any of the others could reply, Buffy came
bouncing down the stairs with a bright smile.

"Hi!" she greeted him cheerily, jumping into his arms.

"Hi yourself, Cutie," he replied, picking her up when
she wound her arms around his neck and her legs
around his waist.

After kissing him long and hard, she leaned her
forehead against his and looked into his eyes. "You
can put me down now," she whispered, smiling sweetly.

"But I don't want to put you down," he whispered back. "I
like it."

Against his wishes, she wriggled out of him embrace.
When her feet were both firmly on the floor, he looked her
up and down.

"Not that you don't look adorable, darling...but you don't
usually entertain in your night clothes."

She gave him a sidelong glance, attempting to look
supremely seductive. "Sometimes I do," she said. "When
a...certain someone comes to call."

Spike laughed. "Yeah...but when that 'certain someone'
comes're usually more black lace and
less.." He gestured at her attire. "..flannel plaid."

"Well, you may have noticed the people in the living
room," Buffy replied. "Don't get me wrong...I love them
all, but I only wear my black lace for you."

"I see," he nodded. "So...after THEY leave, you'll put
on the black..."

She cut him off mid-sentence. "Oh, they're not leaving."

"They're...they're not?" He looked surprised. "Are you
trying to tell me you've suddenly developed the urge for

Buffy clapped her hand over his mouth. "Do NOT finish
that sentence," she warned him. Grabbing his hand, she
towed him into the living room.

Spike glanced around the room. All scoobies present and
accounted for. There were tote bags lined up against the
wall next to a pile of...

**Sleeping bags?**

"It's a slumber party," Buffy announced. "Just like the
ones I had when I was a kid. You know...eons ago."

The meaning of her note now became clear.

"A slumber party? Aren't you a little old for slumber
parties, love?" he asked teasingly.

"No," she said brightly. "Tonight...I'm fifteen years old

This comment intrigued him. "Fifteen, you say?" he
asked, grinning lecherously. "All young and fresh and.." He
leaned over to whisper in her ear. "..virginal?"

"That's me, all right," Buffy agreed. "Pure and chaste. Un-
touched by boys with dirty minds and sneaky hands."

"That's YOU, by the way," Xander interjected.

"No shit?" Spike answered sarcastically. He turned to
look at Buffy. "Are you saying that..."

Xander interrupted, highly amused. "She's saying that
she's fifteen tonight, and YOU ain't getting any. Ha!"

"Well, neither are you," Anya said from the other end
of the sofa.

"Ha!" Spike echoed Xander's snarky laugh.


"Okay!" Buffy pointed in the direction of the stairs. "Into
your pajamas everyone. Girls change in Dawn's old
room, boy's change in my old room...or whatever. Just
go and change."

After watching the others troop upstairs, Spike
grabbed Buffy and pulled her aside. "Listen, love," he
said quietly. "Even if I'd known ahead of time what your
plans know I don't usually wear...that I usually

Buffy grinned. "Bare ass naked? Yeah, I know. I like it
that way."

", too. Point is..I don't even own a pair of...any
kind of...."

"Spike! Are you blushing?" She giggled into her hand. "That's
so cute!"

"I am NOT blushing," he informed her, insulted at the
idea of such a thing. "Vampires do not blush...about any-

"Right," Buffy murmured, biting her lower lip.

"You can't embarrass me," he went on. "I've been around
a hell of a long time, and're just a little girl...still
wet behind the ears."

She folded her arms across her chest. "I can't embarrass
you?" she said, giving him a look that said otherwise. "What
about at the movies last week, when I unzipped your..."

"THAT," he said firmly, "was different. You weren't the
one who embarrassed me. It was my.." He rolled his eyes
in disgust at the memory. "...lack of control."

"Oh, now..." She tried to placate him. "I thought it was

"Oh, did you?" Spike pinched her cheek. "Well, did you

The doorbell rang.

"Hold that thought," Buffy said. "Pizza man's here."

"Hang on a second!" He snagged her arm as she began
to sail past him. "You're not answering the door dressed
like that."

She stared at him, confused. "But..I'm covered from neck
to toe in plaid flannel...remember?"

"Oh, I remember," he nodded. "For your information, you're
the only girl in the world who can make plaid flannel look
so damn sexy." He swatted her lightly on the fanny. "Now
get your ass away from the door."

Buffy rolled her eyes, but did as he asked. She enjoyed
his possessive nature and sometimes went out of her
way to taunt it.

"There's money on the table," she said, hiding in the
little well beneath the stairs.

"S'all right, kitten, I've got it." Spike pulled out his
wallet and extracted two twenties, then opened the
door and blinked in surprise.

'Pizza Man' was actually 'Pizza Girl'. A tall, very
well built redhead, with amethyst colored eyes that
had to be courtesy of contact lenses.

"Hi, there," She gave Spike a slow, up and down
appraisal, obviously finding him quite favorable. "I've
got something here for you," she smiled.

Buffy's head popped out from her hiding place, and
she stared at the girl in the doorway with a sagging

"Thanks," Spike said. "How much?"

Pizza-babe slid two large boxes out of the heating
bag. "Two large deep dish with the works," she said,
leaning forward slightly. "Thirty two-fifty."

"Here's forty." Spike exchanged the cash for the
pizzas. "Keep the change, pet."

"Thanks." The girl licked her lips and smiled. "That's
an awful lot of pizza for one guy," she said. "You must be

In the shallow well beneath the stairs, Buffy decided
that she'd had just about enough of Pizza-slut.

Marching up behind her boyfriend, she tapped him
on the shoulder.

"Honey," she whined. "What's taking so darn long?"

Spike glanced down at her, his eyes alight with
amusement when he saw the angry color in her cheeks
and the fire in her eyes, turning them from light green
to stormy jade.

"Look, I need your help, okay?" she demanded. "The
baby has a serious diaper emergency, and I can't give
her a bath on account of the drains all clogged up
with some green gunk. Honestly,'ve
been promising me for weeks that you'd fix that. When
you planning on getting around to it, huh?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but Buffy steam-
rolled right over him, ticking off a list on her fingers.

"One..Billy Junior needs help with his homework or
he's gonna get held back again. Two..there's a science
project growing in the back of the fridge and I have no
idea WHAT the hell it is. Three..Susie just threw up
an entire box of should see it, it looks
like a rainbow. Four..the cat barfed up something that
looks like half a mouse on your side of the bed, and
five...if you don't go and pick up your prescription, that
itch is never gonna get better."

When she finally ran out of breath, Spike looked at her
and said, "Is that about it?"

"Hell, NO." Placing her hands on her hips, Buffy
continued to rant. "There's a shit load of stuff needs
doing around here. Just because you lost ANOTHER job
doesn't mean you get to sit on your ass all day and
do squat. I mean, are you EVER gonna take out the
trash? Fix the vacuum cleaner? Clean up the oil that
junk heap you drive leaked all over the garage floor?"

Spike bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laugh-
ing out loud. How cute was THIS? The slayer was
staking her claim.

Buffy saw his struggle to control his mirth, and
delivered her coup de grace. "YOU" she said, poking
his chest with one finger, "are ALL talk and no action,
and frankly, honey....I get enough of that in bed."

When Buffy turned to look, Pizza-tart was halfway
down the front walk.

"Hey!" she yelled at the redhead's retreating back. "I
ordered mushrooms! Where are my mushrooms?"

The only answer was a slammed car door and a loud
squeal of tires.


There was a burst of applause from the top of the
stairs. Buffy closed the front door and turned to

"Thank you. Thank you very much. My name is Buffy
and I'll be here all week."

"Now THAT was funny," Xander said as he walked down
stairs. "I never knew you had the acting chops, Buff."

"Well, I don't blame you," Willow added. "She was
practically undressing for him on the front porch." She
relieved Spike of the pizza boxes and took them into
the kitchen.

Xander followed her. "You know, I've been ordering
pizza from that place for years and nothing like her ever
shows up at MY door."

Tara smiled. "I don't think she'll be showing up at THIS door
anytime soon, either," she said, trailing after Xander.

Anya, bringing up the rear, spoke true to form. "God,
Spike....I can't believe you gave her a thirty percent tip." She
shook her head in extreme disapproval before she, too,
disappeared into the kitchen.

Having remained silent up until then, Spike looked down
at Buffy. "You're quite pleased with yourself, aren't you?"

She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and began backing
up the stairs, pulling him along with her. "From now on," she
warned him. "You don't answer the door dressed like this!"

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "I'm completely
dressed in street clothes."

"Yeah, well," She tugged him into her room. "Your 'com-
pletely dressed' look is sexier than other mens 'stark
naked' look."

Pulling his coat down his arms, she tossed it on a chair,
then began unbuttoning his shirt.

"You know, that bed comment was really hitting below
the belt," he said as his shirt followed his coat.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Oh, brother," she muttered
under her breath.

"What?" he asked, smirking.

"Bad puns are my job, baby." She pulled his t-shirt
off. " was the only way to get rid of her. I
had to scare her off somehow, and she obviously wasn't
concerned about out children, the little home wrecking

Working on his belt buckle, she gave him a sassy
grin. "Don't you like it, that I'm so jealous of you?"

"I like it fine," he said agreeably. "Now, why are you
undressing me with a houseful of people downstairs?"

"I told you," she replied. "It's a slumber party. Some-
times it's called a pajama party...ergo, the wearing of

"And I told YOU," he said, "that I don't have any...ergo,
I can't wear them."

Buffy stopped fooling with his belt, and pulled a small
bag out of her closet. "For the vampire who has almost
everything," she said, handing it to him.

Spike opened the bag and pulled out a pair of mens
black silk pajamas.

"Do you like them?" she asked, suddenly shy.

He fondled the soft material between his fingers and
smiled down at her. "They're very nice, sweetheart," he
said, kissing the top of her head. "Thank you."

Buffy smiled happily. "So...put 'em on."


She used the bathroom while he changed, and when
she came out, he was slipping the jacket on.

The pajamas fit him perfectly, and she mentally
congratulated herself on her splendid taste in
clothes as well as men. "How do they feel?"

Spike smiled as he straightened the collar. "So
good that I may never wear anything else."

"Oh, yummy." Buffy licked her lips. "Don't do
that," she added when he began to fasten the
buttons. "Leave it's incredibly sexy."

Her small fingers moved up his chest lingeringly.

Part Two: Explanations

In the end, they compromised. He felt odd, being
half dressed in a houseful of people, so she allowed
him to fasten the bottom three buttons after securing
his promise that she would be allowed to UN-button
upon request.

They joined the others in the kitchen. Buffy sat down
and ate an entire slice of pizza in the time it took
Spike to fill a glass with ice and pour soda for her.

When she was halfway through a second slice, she
looked up and caught him watching her. "What?"
she asked, swallowing.

"I just don't understand it," he said, shaking his
head. "You're such a little thing. Where do you
put all the food you consume?"

She shrugged and winked at him. "Fast metabolism,
baby. Plus...I get a lot of exercise."

Xander wadded up a paper napkin and tossed it
into the trash can. "This is nothing," he said. "You
should see her on all-you-can-eat barbecue rib night
at the Steak Shack. She's a wonder to behold."

"Very funny," Buffy muttered.

"Yeah, but it's true," Willow piped up. "The waiters
used to take bets on how many ribs she'd polish

Buffy looked up, horrified. "They didn't!"

"Buffy's right," Xander confirmed. "I'M the one who
took the bets." She threw a piece of sausage at him,
which he ducked. "Saved up the down payment on
my car, thanks to her."

"Oh, shut up," she grumbled good naturedly.

"All right, that's enough," Spike said. "Before this
turns ugly, explain the ritual of the slumber party," he
requested, sitting down and pulling Buffy onto his lap.

"Oh! Let me!" Anya said, raising one hand. "I learned
all about it on the Internet." She folded her hands in
front of her, like a schoolchild answering a teacher's
question. "It's a female adolescent bonding ritual,
usually commemorating a special occasion such as
a birthday. The participants gather at a pre-appointed
time and location, bringing with them all the necessities
for being away from home overnight; such as a hairbrush,
a toothbrush, sleeping apparel, a bedroll, and a par-
ticularly cherished stuffed animal companion."

She took a deep breath, then continued.

"Although there are some deviations, the evening
usually follows a pattern of an unwritten yet traditional
schedule of events, including making annoying
and anonymous telephone calls to complete
strangers; eating a great deal of non-nutritious
food; listening to music played at an extremely
high volume, grooming each others hair and
nails; and talking behind the backs of people who
aren't present to defend themselves, usually
in a highly derisive manner."

"And let's not forget the time honored activity of
sneaking out and covering some innocent person's
house with toilet paper," Xander interjected.

Anya stared at him, offended. "Xander! I'm telling it."

He closed his mouth and gestured for her to con-

"Now," she said, "there are certain things that will
happen without fail. At one point during the evening,
a game will be played. This game offers one the
choice of answering a question designed to embarrass
them, or performing a disgusting stunt, such as
drinking from a fish tank."

"I'll pass," Spike murmured in Buffy's ear.

"At least one guest will lose something important,
such as an earring or a dental appliance. Someone else
will have forgotten something important, such as an
asthma inhaler. Something unidentifiable will stain
the carpet; someone will accidentally eat something
they're allergic to; marginally frightening movies will
be shown, followed by not at all frightening stories
being told, some of which have achieved a legendary
status over the years."

"Ohh! Yes!" Willow interrupted. "Like the one about
the kids on lover's lane and the guy with the hook,
and..." She caught Anya's baleful glare. "...sorry."

"Well, tell me this," Spike said. "After doing all those
things...when do you actually slumber?"

Buffy, Willow, Xander and Tara all looked at him as
though he'd uttered a blasphemy.

"You don't," Anya said. "The name is a misnomer. No
one slumbers at a slumber party. If people slumber at a
slumber party, then the slumber party wasn't a very
good slumber party, as slumber parties go."

Buffy nodded. "It's a flop," she explained.

"So...what do you do in the morning?" Spike inquired.

"You get dressed, go home and go to bed," she re-
plied. " slumber."

Part Three: Truth Or Dare

The pizza was finished and the the dishes were
neatly stacked in the sink, so Buffy escorted
her guests into the living room.

"Okay," she announced. "It's time for Truth or

"I don't like the sound of THAT already," Spike said. "Is
this the game Anya was on about?"

His girlfriend gave him a mischievous smile, the one
that always made him want to sling her over his
shoulder and deposit her on the nearest bed.

"Yep," she replied smartly. "Who wants to go

"You should go first," Willow said. "It's your party."

"I was hoping you'd say that." The slayer plopped
down on the sofa next to Spike. "Truth or dare, baby?"
she asked.

"Oh, fuck," he muttered. "I'm screwed either way."

"You wish," Xander said with a smirk.

Spike ignored the comment. "I think I'll start out with

"Hmmm...okay. How old are you?" Buffy asked.

"How...that's IT?" he asked, surprised. "THAT'S the
embarrassing question?"

She shook her head. "We'll work up to the embarrassing
ones," she said. " old are you?"

Spike sat back on the sofa and propped his bare
feet on the coffee table. "Let me think....if you go by
when I was born until when I died..."

"Don't say it like that," Buffy put in, frowning.

"Sorry, sweetheart...when I was turned, I was 29. That
was in 1880, so that makes me 151 years old."

Buffy moved a little closer, and he slipped his arm
around her. "Your turn," she informed him.

"My turn, my turn," he said, contemplating his
choices, then zeroing in on his slayer. "Truth or
dare, cutie?"

Buffy thought it over for a moment. ", wait..
dare. Dare is better. Just...don't get crazy," she said

"Me? Wouldn't dream of it." He hesitated for a moment,
then said, "You have to do it, right? You can't wiggle out
of it if you decide you don't like what you hear?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that's the idea. But I'm not gonna
maim myself, so don't even THINK of bringing up that
tattoo business again. He tried to talk me into getting
his name tattooed on," she explained to the
rest of them. And, no," she added, glaring at Xander. "I'm
not telling you where."

"Did I say anything?" he replied, holding up his hands.

"It's not a tattoo, babe," Spike interjected, wanting to
get back on track. "No maiming involved, cross my heart."

"Okay, then," Buffy said, shifting around nervously. "What's
your dare?"

Before he answered, Spike picked up his coat and
fished out his cell phone, handing it to her with a highly
pleased smile on his face. "I dare call Angel."

Buffy, who had been mentally preparing herself for
something much worse, looked surprised. "Sure," she
said casually, taking the phone and punching in the
correct numbers. "Not much of a dare, though."

"I'm not finished," he said, grinning broadly. "You have
to tell him everything I do."

"I...what? What do you...oh, hi...I'm fine...Just checking
in...How about you guys?....Really?...."

Spike placed his hand on her thigh, and Buffy knew
exactly where this dare was going.

"Not much....Spike's here....uh-huh....he's...he's
touching my LEG....No reason...."

Leaning closer, Spike nuzzled the side of her neck
and licked her earlobe.

", yes...actually, he's being VERY good...At
the moment?....Licking my ear....Nothing....I swear,
I'm totally sober...."

Xander had his hand over his mouth, trying to hold
back his laughter. Nothing pleased him more than
seeing Angel's chain get yanked.

Chuckling softly, Spike pushed Buffy's hair away from
the side of her neck, then gently bit down.

"Yeeks!...He, um....sort of bit me...NO!...Uh...he's
s-sucking my....ear-earlobe..."

She smacked his hand when he tried to slip
it up under her pajama top, having no intention of
allowing him to feel her up in a roomful of people.

In retaliation, he grabbed her left foot and began
nibbling on her toes. Buffy, whose feet were hope-
lessly ticklish, collapsed in a giggling heap.

"I'm...Stop that!...Oh!...Hey, you...Please....I can't
talk...I can't..." She worked her foot loose of his
grip and retrieved the dropped phone. "Angel? Are you
still....he hung up," she reported, handing the
phone back to Spike.

"What a shame," he murmured, placing the phone on
the coffee table.

It took a minute for everyone else in the room to
regain control of their mirth.

"That was mean," Buffy scolded, half-heartedly.

Unrepentant, Spike shrugged. "Well, I COULD care
less but then I'd have to try."


It was Anya's turn.

"Willow....truth or dare?"

Clearing her throat, Willow drew her knees up under
her over sized nightshirt and scrunched up her nose.
"Oh...truth....I guess."

Without a twinge of hesitation, Anya asked, "Do you
ever think about having sex with Xander?"

The male in question choked on the beer he was

Willow's face turned bright red. "You mean...before?"

Anya shrugged. ""

"Look, Ahn....I don't think that's a..." Xander began.

"Oh, no you don't," Spike cut in, looking riotously
amused. "You can't change horses in mid-stream. She
has to answer the question and YOU have to keep your
constantly babbling mouth shut." Tightening his arms
around Buffy, he settled deeper into the sofa with a
wicked smile. "Come on, Red. Fess up time. You ever
get the urge to knock boots with chubby here?"

"Hey!" Xander protested. "I joined a gym!"

"Yeah?" Spike asked. "Try going once in a while."

Xander looked at Anya. "You told him?" he hissed.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "I told him nothing,"
she said, then gave Spike a dirty look. "See if I tell
you a secret ever again, mister."

"Can we get back on track?" Buffy spoke up.

"Yeah...come on, Red....tell the truth," Spike grinned.

Willow gave Tara an anguished look. "Is it too late
to change to a dare?"

Tara just nodded solemnly.

"All right then." Looking around the room, Willow
visibly gathered her nerve, took a deep breath, and
said, "No. Who's next?"


"Xander!" Buffy said pertly. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," he replied. "No, wait...dare."

"Are you sure?"

"Believe me, I'm sure. I'd rather swim through
crocodile infested swamp land than tell the truth
about almost anything." He gave her a worried
look. "There's no....crocodile infested swamp land
around there?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Buffy said. "Okay, then...dare.
Take off all your clothes and run around the outside
of the house all the way, then back in the front door."

Xander turned red to his hairline. "You've gotta,
I can see you're not kidding."

"I'm not," she assured him, smiling brightly. "Come
on now...take it off. Take it ALL off."

Rising slowly to his feet, Xander trudged to the
front door like someone on their way to the gallows.

He tugged off his t-shirt and 'clown' pants willingly
enough, but balked when it came down to the removal
of his boxers.

"Let's compromise," he said, opening the door. "I'll
strip down to the shorts, but that's it."

Before Buffy could protest, he'd stepped outside onto
the front porch.

Willow leaned over and whispered something in Tara's
ear. Tara, in turn, muttered something beneath her breath.

The front door swung shut, and the dead bolt turned.

"Hey!" Xander yelped from the other side of the door. "Give
'em back!"

Stretched out on the sofa, with his head laying in Buffy's
lap, Spike dissolved in helpless laughter.


"I dare you to drink it down all at once."

Spike filled a shot glass and handed it to Buffy.

Grimacing, she accepted the drink. "What is it
again?" she asked.

"Tequila. No worm."

"WORM?" She looked at him in horror. "Tequila
has worms?"

"Some do. Not this kind," he said consolingly. "Now
chug it down, love."

Buffy peered dubiously into the glass. "I'd like to know
which one of you brought THIS into the house."

Spike chuckled. "I found it in the back of the pantry."

"You WOULD," she muttered. Raising the glass to
her lips, she closed her eyes and pinched her nose
shut, counting silently to three.

"Watch this," Spike said to the others.

Buffy tossed back the shot, then reacted predictably. She
made a face, shuddering from head to toe. "Bleeahhg."

"Isn't she cute when she does that?" He grabbed the
glass before she could pitch it at him, patting her on
the back as she coughed.

"Yeah," Xander observed. "It's real cute, the way she's
about to throw up."

"I...I am...not!" Buffy choked out. "Think I've...never had
a drink before?" She burped ominously.

"Oh, THAT was attractive," Anya observed.

"S'cuse me."


"Where's the strangest place you've had sex?"

Buffy thought it over.

"Strange for me, or strange for normal people?"

"For you," Willow replied.

There was a pause while Buffy considered her
answer. "I the janitor's closet at the

Spike frowned slightly. "I don't remember that."

"You weren't there."


"Go upstairs and bring me the stuffed animal on
Dawn's bed."

"Piece of cake," Anya scoffed, heading for the

A few seconds later there was a horrified gasp,
then Anya came back carrying a stuffed rabbit by
the tip of one ear, handling the toy as if it was
ticking a countdown.

"You know, you have a very cruel streak inside of
you," she informed Buffy. "It's not pleasant."


"Forget it!"

"You have to!"


"You accepted the dare."

"I'm not doing it."

"Then you're breaking the rules."

"I don't care."

"Well, that's not fair."

"Sue me."

"Oh, come on..."

"I said no!"

"But you're cheating!"

"Go away and leave me alone."

"Come back here....coward."

"I heard that!"

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